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Vice Magazine’s Embarrassing French Black Metal Film
As part of their quest to ruin everything interesting and appealing about both metal and life, the gullible cronies of media pyramid scheme Vice Magazine have journeyed to the grim countrysides of the...
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Defining Indie “Metal”
As many movies from the 80s and 90s will tell you (e.g. SLC Punk and PCU), youth counter cultural movements of those decades were once various fragmented groups or “tribes” baring their own identity...
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Metal-Archives’ Marxist Mania
Article contributed to Death Metal Underground by Richard Sullivan. Western civilization is currently gripped in a culture war unlike any that preceded this one. You may ask what makes it so different...
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Iron Bonehead Triggers Witchhunt by Portland Maoists
Article contributed to Death Metal Underground by Seth Berg. It seems the Portland neoliberals weren’t content with indoctrinating gullible college students into their pseudoscientific belief system...
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2018 Predictions
2017 was a year of total war and, culturally, a year of victory. What it lacked in quality metal it made up for in illuminating many of the harsh truths about metal’s business side, the narcissism of...
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Watain – Trident Wolf Eclipse (2018)
Grammy-award wining artist Watain has shamelessly assumed the mantle of “most embarrassing band masquerading as black metal” previously shared by Dimmu Borgir and Cradle of Filth. Where the downfall...
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Power Trip – Nightmare Logic (2017)
Every year we are treated to an endless amount of ridiculous lists. It seems that any individual with the ability to express their opinions is obligated to share their Top 10 or top 20 metal releases...
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Sadistic Metal Reviews: Incineration of 2017 Metal
2017 was a shit waste of a year when it came to metal music. Yet with a whole generation of useless neckbeard millennials frantically trying to pursue a career in metal journalism via a desperate...
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Trendkillers #3: Kill Metal Kickstarters
When riding the subway in a major American city one is likely to encounter a homeless person panhandling for money. There is usually a canned speech of sorts that may or may not sound something like...
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Trendkillers #4: Album Birthdays are Metal’s Eulogy
Few things portray a grimmer outlook for the future of heavy metal music than what’s conveyed through pictures like this: Upon seeing an article like that, I immediately hear the voice of an obnoxious...
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Crawl/Leviathan
Hipster celebrity and accused tattoo gun rapist Wrest from Leviathan returns with a new sidekick in an attempt to restore some underground credibility. This is a common gimmick used in rap music...
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Woolftooth – Woolftooth (2018)
Stoner metal. What bullshit. Why not just get stoned and listen to good metal? Burzum, Incantation, or even Bach is still incredible music when stoned out of my gourd. Other than giving me the amazing...
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SAD HIPSTER WREST EVICTED FROM WAREHOUSE
Leviathan mainman and convicted domestic abuser Jeff Whitehead (a.k.a. Wrest) is being evicted from the Portland Oregon warehouse he maintained as a storefront for his Devout Rcrds label/record store...
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SICK PAEDOS INQUISITION DROPPED FROM LABEL
Season of Mist have dropped scumbag frog-metal band Inquisition after it became known that Dagon is a sick paedophile fuck who plead guilty to child porn charges in 2009 for having sexualized photos...
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Death Of War Metal Imminent!
For years, Nuclear War Now!’s forum has been the haven for life dropout D&D neckbeards searching for some form of friendship and community. But according to website tracking metrics, the site has...
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Hipsters Discover That Black Metal Musicians Are Bad
Another scandal! Yes folks, for the fourth time in the past two or three weeks, hipster journalists and fake metal fans are shocked and appalled that a black metal musician has done something...
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/smr/ Sadistic Metal Reviews: Post Black Eulogy (Part 1)
[Join DMU editor Brock Dorsey on the first of a two part massacre of the soy metal sub genre that has bastaradized black metal beyond the belief! Also, this image is an actual cover from an actual...
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/smr/ Sadistic Metal Reviews – Post Black Metal Eulogy (Part 2)
In post black metal, we saw riffs being declared null and void in favor of atmosphere. Gone were the melodic harmonies of Iron Maiden and Dissection, the savage atonal decimation of Morbid Angel and...
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Thrift Store Alert! Judas Iscariot to Get the Re-Release Treatment
Of all of the bands and all of the musicians that have come out of retirement in attempt to cash in on their past, Judas Iscariot’s Akhenetan (Andrew Harris) has been one rare exception who has truly...
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/smr/ Sadistic Metal Reviews: Flavor of the Week Metal Pt 1: Black Metal
The ability to spot flavor of the week(/weak) trends in metal is a key element of elitism and will save you a load of embarrassment further down the road. Both death metal and black metal have seen...
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